I get this question regularly on my social media platforms and in my real life interactions with people. It’s usually a version of: you seem to do so much / you seem to have it all together… how do you do it? The first time I was asked this question, I was thoroughly shocked because I didn’t think that I have it ‘together’ and I was questioning what depictions I was giving that led people to believe that, I also didn’t want how I portray my life to be the source of other people/moms feeling less than because they think that I have it together and that being a source of them feeling inadequate.
I feel that this is one of the most important facets of managing to juggle everything that I have going on in my life, I have a good support structure around me. For one, my child’s nanny is ah-mazing, I know that a lot of moms have horrible nanny stories, but fortunately we are not in that boat. Secondly, my family is a huge support structure – when I have to travel out of the country for work, I know that I can rely on my mom to come stay over and help with Mpilo or now that she’s older, I can send her to my mom’s house when I’m away.
Time to fill yourself up
I was lucky enough to figure this one out when Mpilo was very young, I knew that I had to make time to do things that make me happy, this way I can be my best self when I am with her. Sometimes it takes having to hide from her in the bedroom after getting back from work so that I can get 15 minutes to myself :), I’ve realised that it works because once that time is over I am ready to give her my full attention and I feel really good about that. In the bigger scheme of things, I’ve made sure that I still keep up with my blog, YouTube channel and doing my makeup because those are the things that I love doing and they are a source of joy for me.
Accept that things will never be in balance
Sorry to be the one to break this to you, balance is that thing that we have been socialised to strive for but can we really get it? realistically? I have given up trying to ensure that everything in my life is balanced, I have accepted that there will at times be a part of my life where I feel like I’m failing and that is okay. This mindset has released me from a lot of guilt and feelings of failure especially when I am struggling with a certain part of my life. So I live my life striving to do my best but not beating myself up if things aren’t perfect.
Those are some of my coping mechanisms on how I ‘juggle’ all aspects of my life, as a fun extra, I thought it would be a good idea to share my typical work-day routine on this post to illustrate the craziness that happens. This will also help me at times when I’m feeling overwhelmed to realise that I do have a lot on my hands (as we all do) and its okay to have those feeling and not strive to have everything perfect.
Typical work-day routine
06:00-07:00 Wake up and get ready for work
08:00 Mpilo has woken up and she wants to follow me everywhere and mess with my makeup. So we eat my breakfast together while I’m shooing her away from my vanity and simultaneously doing my makeup.
08:15 Mpilo and I either have a play session or we go for a short walk before I leave
08:30 I eventually leave for work
09:00 – 17:00 I’m in work mode
17:30 Get home, change clothes (with Mpilo again following me around)
18:00 Make dinner while she is having her bath and having her dinner
19:00 Hangout with her, we either watch TV, read or she hangs around while I try film videos and/or take blog photos (I try to not have my phone with me at this time – I want to dedicate this time to her)
20:00 Mpilo goes off to sleep
20:00-00:00 I do my skincare routine, shower, work on my blog/YouTube until I’m too tired.